Restore & Replenish You
&
Your Relationship
Filed Under: Sliding Door Moments
This has been a devastatingly stressful year, especially if you are a woman. So much of the extra responsibilities at home are being shouldered by moms and women in general, so you may need extra bits of care to manage your mental and overall health. Katy Couples and Wellness Counseling guest post by Jennifer McGregor, provides a few simple, yet effective tips for fending off anxiety and depression and feeling a little better.
You Deserve a Few Extra Comfort Right Now
Being a mom during this pandemic comes with so much extra emotional weight. In fact, studies show that across the globe, women are taking up more responsibility when it comes to work and the home. So, if you feel exhausted and overwhelmed, you are not alone in your frustrations. With this being said, also know that treating yourself to a few extra comforts is not selfish at all. It’s these sort of small self-care steps that can help keep you from getting burned out and help you shoulder all of that extra burden. Of course, basic self-care shouldn’t be ignored during these trying times, so be sure to treat yourself to a few minutes of relaxation and stress relief each day.
Your Mind and Body Need Extra Nourishment
Have you been craving sweets and sugars these last few months? If so, and if you’ve been giving into those cravings on a regular basis, you could be unknowingly making your anxiety worse. Foods and drinks high in refined sugar have a way of throwing off the balance in your brain, and consuming these foods can lead to increased feelings of panic and even depression. Not to mention that when you try to take a break from mood-altering sugar, your anxiety may actually feel worse for a while.
So, if you want to nourish your brain and body, it may be time to begin gently weaning yourself off sugar and processed foods. Instead of cutting out sugar all at once, try less drastic diet swaps. Flavor your water with fruit and herbs to get away from drinking sodas, or choose a low-sugar, low-carb ice cream when you do need a sweeter treat. In addition to preserving your mood, ditching all of those processed foods can also be good for your waistline. While your diet choices should always focus on health first, shedding any extra lockdown pounds could also help to improve your emotional health and decrease anxiety.
Your Mood Can Also Benefit From Physical Activity
Feelings of depression have also been a common concern for moms trying to cope with the pandemic, as well as other current events. Isolation and social-distancing are exasperating this explosion in emotional distress among women, so find safe ways to stay connected to your friends and loved ones. Technology can provide avenues for safe connection and technology can also boost your mood by providing a way for you to get more exercise at home.
In addition to keeping your body healthy, regular physical activity has also been shown to increase chemicals in your brain that are responsible for protecting you from feelings of depression and anxiety. If you prefer not to leave your home for exercise, you can try online workouts to get those happy hormones pumping through your brain and body. As you change your habits, whether it be your diet or your exercise routine, it can also be crucial to exercise a high level of self-compassion and mindfulness. Then you can find joy in the simple moments of your life.
It’s so hard to look and feel like the best version of yourself right now, especially if you are a stressed out mom. So please don’t feel guilty about taking more time to take extra special care of yourself during the pandemic. You deserve it and more importantly, you really do need it.
Jennifer McGregor
jmcgreg@publichealthlibrary.org
PublicHealthLibrary.org
Photo Credit: Pexels
_______________________________________________
Thank you for visiting.
Katy Couples & Wellness Counseling
Finding Me Again
Couples & Individual Counseling Katy
Michelle offers counseling for couples and individuals in the Katy area.
Check out our newest service: online counseling. Michelle is now able to offer online couples and individual counseling in the great Houston area and Texas. Click here to learn more about individual online counseling with Michelle. Click here to learn more about online couples counseling with Michelle.
Filed Under: Counseling Katy, COVID-19, Healthy Habbits, Individual counseling, Katy | West Houston
Michelle now offers online counseling in the greater Houston area and Texas.
Last week, we discussed getting bogged down by “shoulds” and how that effects our mood and how we feel about ourselves. It is often helpful to have a positive focus for the energy we are trying to shift away from should thoughts. Today, we are going to focus our energy on infusing joy into our lives and parenting wherever possible.
Photo by Fuu J on Unsplash
We will cultivate several areas of focus when we consider what brings us joy; small day to day moments, memories, and choices.
What are a few small daily moments that bring joy to your heart? My list of daily moments:
Filed Under: Counseling Katy, Healthy Habbits, Individual counseling, Katy | West Houston, Mindfulness, Online Counseling, Online Counseling Houston, Online Counseling Texas
Michelle now offers online counseling in the greater Houston area and Texas.
Photo by J W on Unsplash
Last week, we discussed using a compassion practice to be kind to ourselves in moments of struggle. This may be a lot harder than it sounds for many of us. One of the blocks, many of us have to being kind to ourselves in moments of struggle, are should thoughts. Should thoughts, are pervasive thoughts that can pop up in almost any situation. “I should be doing more with my child who is struggling in school.” “I should be exercising more.” “I should be kinder to my spouse.” “I should be doing better at work.” The list goes on and on. We are somehow always at a deficit, never feeling like we are whole and perfect just as we are today.
When we feel like we should be trying harder and doing better it is very difficult to have compassion for ourselves. Stuck in these thoughts, it can almost feel like we do not deserve compassion. It is a circle of thinking that can easily trap us causing us to feel worse and worse about ourselves. We react by trying harder and harder. It’s like being stuck on a treadmill thinking, if I just run faster I will finally get to rest but in reality, rest will only come if we step OFF the treadmill.
Filed Under: Counseling Katy, Healthy Habbits, Individual counseling, Katy | West Houston, Online Counseling, Online Counseling Houston, Online Counseling Texas, Uncategorized
Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash
It is official, school has started in the greater Houston area. We are all doing this thing one way or another. Hopefully, school is going better than expected and maybe even smoothly. No matter how well it’s going, my assumption is that it’s still a lot to manage kids doing at home learning, taking care of other children, work, and your home. There is also uncertainty about the future, for example, what it will look like for kids to return in person and for some of you, when will they return to in person learning.
It is overwhelming when we have a lot to manage and we don’t have any choice about it. Sometimes it feels like the only thing we can do is put our head down and put one foot in front of the other. While this does help us get by, we often want more than just getting by. We want to live and enjoy our life. This is where a little self-compassion can go a long way.
Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash
In addition to just getting through the days, how we are really feeling on the inside can slip out here and there. Have you ever gotten short with your partner or snapped at your kids and that is when you realized how stressed and overwhelmed you have been feeling? This happens to all of us. Most of us drastically underestimate how stressful things really are and how much of an impact stress is having on us. When we feel overwhelmed or get short with someone we love, many of us turn on ourselves. Saying things to ourselves such as, “If you were a better parent you would not be reacting so harshly.” “If you would just try harder or take better care of yourself you would not be struggling so much and feel so underwater.” What if we could step back and notice, of course we feel like we are drowning? There is a lot going on! What if our inner voice said something more like, “I am feeling so overwhelmed. Of course, because there is so much uncertainty. I am trying to do so much.” What if we could give ourselves a little grace and understanding when we need it the most versus kicking ourselves when we are down?
There are small ways we can lean in and be with our experience. R.A.I.N. is a practice expanded by Tara Brach in her book Radical Compassion. We can journal the R.A.I.N. practice and also use R.A.I.N. in moments of overwhelm.
Photo by sean Kong on Unsplash
First, we look in and ask ourselves what are we feeling. Research says that simply labeling feelings begins to calm our nervous system. “I feel overwhelmed, anxious, angry, frustrated, etc.”
Can I accept this is how I feel, even if I do not want to feel this way? Maybe I feel bad for feeling this way or like I should feel something else. It might sound something like, “Yes, I feel angry, so angry.” Through gritted teeth, “Can it be ok for me to feel angry in this moment?” If the answer is a resounding “NO!” this is a great topic to journal. What are all the internal messages that say, “No, it is not ok for me to feel this way.” Where did I first hear this message? Does this message of “No” still fit for me today? Is there anything I am afraid of in feeling angry, sad, overwhelmed, etc.? What am I worried might happen if I let myself feel this big emotion in this moment?
What does this emotion feel like in my body? Connecting your thoughts to how they are landing in your body is also calming to our nervous system. We are stepping out of our racing thoughts and tuning into our body to notice what overwhelmed, sad, or anxious feels like in our body. Sometimes it is easy to answer what an emotion feels like in our body. If it is not obvious however, you can close your eyes and check in with your shoulders, chest, and stomach. These are areas in our body where we often carry big emotions. Is my jaw tense? Are my shoulders raised and tight? Am I clenching anywhere?
Nurture is where we can treat ourselves as we would a friend and give ourselves compassion in our struggle. What am I needing in this moment of sadness, anger, or overwhelm? Maybe I need to hear, “It is completely understandable and reasonable that you are upset.” Maybe I need to be seen for how hard I am trying. “I see you are trying so hard and doing so much. It is a lot what you are doing.” Maybe I need to hear that I am a good parent despite my fears. “You are a good Mom or Dad. Your kids are so lucky to have you. They would not want anyone else.” You might imagine a good friend or a grandparent saying these kind things to you. If there is not a person in your life past or present you could imagine being so kind, it could be your older wiser self who says these kind things to you. If any of these messages are difficult to take in, you could also explore through journaling. What makes these messages difficult to take in? What would it feel like if I could take these kind messages in?
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
In moments of struggle, we all need to know we are not alone. We need reassurance and kindness. For most of us, this is not our first instinct. We actually need to practice compassion in order to change or initial response of being hard on ourselves in moments of struggle. With practice, we can begin to treat ourselves with more kindness and compassion especially in moments of struggle.
I hope this was helpful! I look forward to connecting with you again next week.
Michelle Puster M.Ed., LPC
Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist
Certified Clinical Trauma Professional
Katy Couples & Wellness Counseling
Finding Me Again
Couples & Individual Counseling Katy
Michelle offers counseling for couples and individuals in the Katy area.
Check out our newest service: online counseling. Michelle is now able to offer online couples and individual counseling in the great Houston area and Texas. Click here to learn more about individual online counseling with Michelle. Click here to learn more about online couples counseling with Michelle.
Filed Under: Counseling Katy, COVID-19, Healthy Habbits, Individual counseling, Katy | West Houston, Online Counseling, Online Counseling Houston, Online Counseling Texas
Photo by Deleece Cook on Unsplash
As our kids return back to school, we may notice our stress level increasing. For many of us, our kids will be online learning for at least the first few weeks. This will likely mean juggling online schooling, other kids at home, teaching, making meals, and the list goes on. Your stress level may be increasing just reading this. One of my kid’s teachers communicated, that as parents it is important to be positive which will help ease our children’s uneasiness towards online learning and/or eventually returning to school. While, I whole heartedly agree, it can be a struggle to manage our own anxiety around so much uncertainty and change when it comes to our children’s education and wellbeing. Here is the good news, we can hack our anxiety and use it to actually serve us during this stressful period.
Filed Under: Counseling Katy, COVID-19, Healthy Habbits, Individual counseling, Mindfulness, Online Counseling, Online Counseling Houston, Online Counseling Texas, Uncategorized
Whether you are opting into to on-line school, in-person school, or homeschooling to start this school year you have likely had to make difficult and stressful decisions for your family. For most of us starting school, the change in our routine, and helping our kids adjust to a new schedule is already stressful enough, now we also have the layer of COVID. In times of high stress, we all need extra support.
Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash
Often times when we experience stress we shut down and zone out with our phone or another distraction or we speed up and try to do more in hopes that if we can get it all done we will feel less stressed. Neither option addresses what we are feeling inside and can often lead to a viscous cycle, continuing to need more zoning out or more “doing” to escape feeling the stress. There is a third option, leaning in.
Filed Under: Counseling Katy, Healthy Habbits, Online Counseling Houston, Online Counseling Texas
Michelle will be giving a talk on Attachment Injuries for HCEFT Sat Aug 8 via zoom.
Filed Under: Uncategorized
Closeness with your partner might be the last thing you want right now. You might be on close overload after the last several weeks of the Stay Home orders.
One of the few things worse then being stuck at home for weeks on end would be being stuck at home and constantly fighting or being in icy silence with your partner. If that sounds familiar, you are not alone. It is normal for couples to fight more or experience more strain and tension during times of high stress.
Filed Under: Uncategorized
With mounting stress related to COVID-19 and all its effects now is a beautiful time to begin or revisit a meditation practice.
Counseling Katy Texas Photo by azgovernor.gov
If you have heard about the many wonderful benefits of meditation you may be considering trying meditation for the first time or trying again to help you in this time of uncertainty and stress. Below are three of my favorite apps which provide support in starting a meditation practice.
Filed Under: COVID-19, Healthy Habbits, Healthy Habits for Your Relationship, Individual counseling, Katy | West Houston, Mindfulness
Many of us have made huge life changes in the last few weeks in order to follow the guidelines for COVID-19 and keep our communities safe and healthy. I wanted to share with you a little about our temporary change from in person counseling sessions to online video sessions.
Filed Under: Choosing a counselor, Couples Counseling, COVID-19, Individual counseling, Katy | West Houston, Marriage Counseling, Online Counseling