Photo by seyed mostafa zamani
Sliding Door Moments: Opportunities to Be There for Your Partner
Author and researcher, John Gottman, uses the term sliding door moments to describe opportunities to connect with our partners. These are often micro moments of potential to let your partner know you care, you are there for them, and they can count on you. The term sliding door fits well because these occasions can be so fleeting they are easily missed. Mixed in with other blog posts below are real life sliding door moments that I see in relationships all around me, including my own. Some moments were embraced and perhaps created stronger bonds for the couple while others were missed. I hope highlighting these real life sliding door moments in other’s relationships will help you seek out and take advantage of the opportunity they provided to turn towards your partner and build trust in your own relationship.
Sliding Door Moment #5 … Moment Missed
Even as a therapist, a couple’s therapist none the less, I make mistakes in my relationship. The good news is that mistakes can be repaired. My husband is not much of a talker but he makes an effort for me. One evening he was making such an effort to “open up” as I have asked for a lot over the years when I squashed it. He was talking about work and instead of engaging, asking a question, or showing much interest at all I asked what he wanted to watch on TV. It was like I was saying, “Can we please stop talking so I can zone out?” The funny or not so funny part about this story is I would not even be aware this happened had he not then pointed it out to me. I was shutting him down. Thankfully he did say something. I was glad he did. He had good reason to be at least annoyed.
